A glimpse.

I struggle to catch a glimpse;
When I do I can't stop,
Find myself standing on the corner shocked

I gasp and tell myself I won't do this again,
Addicted to the rush;
The feeling of being wanted just because I want it.

Run away, Run away I must
Before you walk up to me
And tell me you'd be mine.

Oh the sorrows I attract
Oh the sorrows I enjoy

I struggle to catch a glimpse,
Telling myself that this will be my last,
But when I do, I can't stop.

What makes me write?

What makes me write is the ignorance of us humans, how we put ourselves through pain when there is an easy way out, how we suffer and develop a taste for it over time, how we would rather be miserable than be ridiculously boring, how everything is pointing towards one thing yet we follow another because our heart commands it. What makes me write is the infinite pool of possibilities and how we're swimming in it,both, with-in and with-out.

Whatever you want to be is okay.

I've been meaning to write something like this for a while now, for myself and every one of us who forget that we’re only humans and that we have infinite potential to change the course of things and shape them up as we like.

Hope you’ll like it.
X

It’s okay to feel disappointed and disappointing, You don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations and they don’t have to live up to yours; all of us have to live up to our own and write our own story, obviously that involves other people being involved in this, but this shouldn't put them under pressure to be a part of something which they aren't comfortable with. You almost, always have to travel the last mile alone.

It’s okay to be skinny, It’s okay to be fat; whatever YOU want to be is okay. You don’t have to live up to the society’s expectation of how your body is supposed to be, however you want is to be is okay. Whatever gives you happiness is okay.

It’s okay to go absolute bananas and be crazy about someone, whatever you want to be is okay, It’s nobody’s business, we all have that one person in life and if we wouldn't, then life would be sad; but I’ll tell you when life will be sadder than what it is now, when you tell someone you love them just because you want to hear it from them too. You must remember, you brave and beautiful, person that there is love in possession and there is love in letting go.

It’s okay to be blunt and honest, Whatever you want to be is okay, these times are hard and they’ll love your honesty more than they’ll love your peachy-goodie answers. They will love whatever you want to be.

It’s okay to be insecure and wound up tight, whatever you want to be is okay, there’ll be a time when you’ll just learn how to move past it and then you’ll be the phoenix in the ashes. Glorious, untouched and free to make a new start.

It’s okay to feel judged and lonely, Whatever you want to feel is okay, we all feel that way at some point, you’re not alone my sweet sweet friend, but you must remember- “This too shall pass.”

It’s okay to be guilty and angry, whatever you want to be is okay, we’re all guilty around here and something always makes us angry. Whatever you want to be is just fine.

And it’s okay to feel like you can’t control things or people, feel exasperated, and feel like you’re “so-done” with people and their bullshit. Feel human. Whatever you want to be is okay.

Whatever you want to be is okay.

Midnight(Almost) Rants!

Written on 26th of August 2013. 

22:43 hours. 

After almost 4 whole months of convincing myself to write something on the blog, simply because it’s been way too long and my inbox is full of emails from people asking me about a new post that was on  its way (apparently). I open the link of my dashboard in a new tab only to realise that my college’s IT department have gone bananas and blocked my blog. AGAIN.

So, I’m going to waste a little time and rant about it. 

I've lately been spending my time, trying to make peace with the sewing machine that I’m being told to stitch on, working on assignments, being sick, receiving birthday presents and cards( It’s been 3 weeks since my birthday but hey, I’m really not complaining!), swooning over this really cute guy on campus(momentarily, though. Okay fine! Not momentarily.); and trying to convince myself to write so that it can serve as a shout out to everyone and inform them that yes! I’m still alive and not paralysed or literary-ly(is this even a word?)  challenged.  So, interestingly as soon as I realise that I’m ready to crank the space up with some kick-ass piece about how to tame your dragon or maybe how to make friends with the ghost of Freddie Mercury who is lurking in one corner of your room right now (I’m trying to be imaginative, okay? Cut me some slack!) BAM! The authorities decide that my blog is not appropriate to be opened up on an educational campus, because hey, you never know what kind of erotic nuisance I’m feeding people through it. Yes, this makes some sense, totes.

Which brings me to another issue, who is to decide what’s right and what’s wrong?

 I came across this really intriguing quote the other day, “Love is cursed by monogamy.” , try saying this to your parents or maybe your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/whatever and the first thing you’re going to hear is probably a wailing sound, if the person really has his/her shit together then you might as well as just directly end up into a fight or a “heated discussion”  to say the least, but why?

Did anyone ever ask anybody about why we do the things the way that we do them? (Okay that was probably too Frank Sinatra for one sentence, you do remember do be do be do, don’t you?)

Why is it necessary to be put sugar in your milk rather than salt, why aren’t days called nights and nights called days? ; Why is it important to follow rules? Who made the rules? Are your notions and principles about the world alright or do you need to expand your horizons a little more? All of this is for you to decide, I’m just trying to give you some food for thought.

To conclude I’m going to urge you to Google about Paulo Coelho’s answer about why the railway tracks are 4 feet 8.5 inches apart and you’ll get the bigger picture.  Arguments about the same are going to be entertained with great joy!

Hope you have a lovely evening/night/midnight.

x

Punctures.

Time punctures a lot of holes in us, some so that air can pass through, some through which our dreams drain out, some which are exhausting, I have a huge hole in my chest, that’s caused by my loved ones, people who I gave my heart away to, even the parts of me that aren’t punctured resonate with the echoes of hollowness.

Something old.

I wait to hear from you, like barren land waits for rain to pour. Its overwhelming at times, but I wait. The reasons for me waiting might change with the passage of time, but I will always wait, because somehow there's a part of me that believes in you even though its been let down, innumerable times. Times that cut my heart up, but I've picked myself up each and every time, because I have to be ready. Ready for whatever time will send my way, hoping that it would send you. 

Echomint

You can not find happiness by trying to be everything for everybody. That's too much for you to handle, let me be honest with you, you will fail at it and the drama that follows,well, it will kill you.

All the lonely people.

All the lonely people, where do they come from? They come from broken trust, from bad first experiences, from unanswered faith,They come from the dreams they were too scared to chase, they come from all the things they’re too scared to feel, they’re scarred from all that they do feel but mostly, they come from all the words they left unsaid.

Echomint

We leave behind so much of ourselves. Some things we leave behind to be a better person, some things we leave behind to live happily, some things we leave behind to live without regrets, some things we leave behind to impress others, some things we leave behind to let go. So much of ourselves we leave behind.