Like yourself? Think again.

There are times when I like to sit down and think, not about anything in specific but just think.
Like sit down and let everything run through my mind; decisions that I’ve taken, people that I’ve met, things that I’ve done and the likes of it.
And every time something like this happens, the one question which never fails to pass my mind is if I like what I am becoming.

Every day we go outside, interact with people, do things, represent ourselves by the decisions that we make, break ourselves and fix ourselves again,  let days pass us by,  but do we take a moment and think?
Sit down sometime and instead of thinking about other people just ask yourself one question, “Do I like the person that I am becoming?”
Did you like the way your day went today?
Did you like the way you behaved with people who were nice to you?
Did you reciprocate the effort someone else was making to keep a conversation alive?
Were you actually conversing with people or were you a witness to words being tied loosely in a conversation, by the thread of social conduct?
Did you stand up for something/someone you believed in?
DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF?
Being honest now, I don’t like myself most of the days, I think about the million things that I could’ve done things that would’ve made a differenc(e.
Done things differently than I did yesterday.
Chances that I could’ve taken, but I let them pass by.
Things I could’ve changed by a simple effort.

Recently, I’ve come across people who live by the tags they create, Tags that they don’t even fit.
They’ll come up to you and go on about the kind of people they are, the things they like doing,
the kind of people they don’t like, and during all of this, the only thing that’s going on in my mind is, “Wow! You sure know how to limit yourself. Kudos to you for that!”

  Like my friend, an otherwise subtle and sensible person, was crying the other day and took me by complete surprise after that she asks me if I think people who cry are weak.
Honestly, I was expecting her to maybe talk about what was troubling her or maybe say something in self-assurance, instead of trying to define herself in moments like these.
Why is it so difficult to not articulate everything in a perfect manner? To put labels on everything, to know exactly what to say, to find the right words every time and limit ourselves, by what we know and what we think we know?
Are all of us suffering from a twisted version of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder perhaps?

In moments like these I want you to shake up and look at yourself, and ask yourself if you like what you are becoming, IF you want to be this person that you are. Not put tags on yourself but just ask this question and answer it in a plain yes or no.
If you want to wake up every morning as the same person and be like this for the times to come.
YES OR NO?
(It’s quite simple if you think about it.)
Wake yourself up from false comfort of being; and go do something that makes you more you, instead of being so caught up in what others would think or maybe what you think.
And, honestly, once you make up your mind, it won’t be all that difficult to be who you want to be.
Or maybe it will be, but I assure you, it'll be worth it.

Change.

I've always been a big fan of change, always wanted it, always will want it, but I'll also admit, that it's not easy.
Oh no! Not at all.

To put it in a metaphor, it's like going into surgery, you know everything will be fine afterwards, you'll heal and recover and be in a better state than you are right now but you're scared.
Scared of what will be and what will not be.
Scared of everything that could be.
Scared. Just plain scared.
Even if there's nothing to be scared of!

One of the most ancient ways to succeed in life as I've been told time and again is to be aware, to be aware of the potential every person has.

Take my word when I tell you that "change" is the best way to find out.
When you're out of your comfort  zone, when you're doing something you've never done before.
When you've to work and co-ordinate things with people you've very recently met, then your true self surfaces.
You find out your weaknesses, your strengths, your flaws and your armoured points.

You become YOU, just not the you that you think you are, but the you that you 'actually' are.

We,over time, mold ourselves to be a person that we think the world would love to see.
We blanket our real selves and put on a mask, hide behind something I call a safety cocoon.
Become a monotonous replica of someone else, who is probably hiding inside his/her own safety cocoon.
Change.

Change the way you want the world to see you, let it see what you truly are.
Change the way you want to see yourself, see what you truly are.

You don't like something about yourself?
Take charge and change it.

You don't like something about someone else?
Give them a piece of your mind, it might do them good.

You want to discover yourself?
Change your desire to be safe, and face difference and difficulty.

Change, because to do something you've never done before, you've to be someone you've never been before.

Illumination

Inspiration, for me, is not something that comes suddenly; it’s not something one would acquire overnight or in a fortnight.

It’s something that is instilled into us, constantly and carefully. It’s usually sent to us by giving the right answers at the right time, by having people who believe in us when we fail to do that, by telling us making mistakes is okay. By letting us be “US”.

For me the right answers at the right time, the encouragement to do better have come through a person who’s seen me through thick and thin and has quite literally been with me through it all, my grandfather; and I cannot be more thankful for having him.

He’s been my solace my inspiration and much more.

For the questioner in me, he’s been the perfect answer.

My grandfather has ALWAYS been very encouraging whenever I’ve asked a question. He’s answered one of mine and framed one of his. They, the questions and answers and prolonged discussions, have always felt like combustion, just like when the fire and oxygen are in contact they will burn and irradiate light. Enough of it to drive vagueness away. This is what inspires me to have knowledge, ask questions, demand for answers and get my facts right. This stimulation to find answers has been the perfect answer he’s given me every time I’ve asked a question.

For the person in me who’s faltered at times, he’s been the perfect re-assurance.

“Everybody makes mistakes Mitisha; it is very natural to do that. If you’ve not made mistakes in your life, you haven’t really learnt anything.” Since the very time I made a mistake I’ve received a smile instead of a scorn. Always being stimulated to take on situations like ME, not like someone else. This is what has encouraged me to make decisions, gather first-hand experiences, be at fault and know my mistakes so that I don’t repeat them again. This will, to take on anything fearlessly is the perfect re- assurance he’s bestowed me with.

For the competitor in me, He’s been the perfect critic.

“No matter how well prepared you are, Never think your competitor is not worthy of you. There must obviously be something in him that he is competing against you.” Usually when I call my grandfather up before some big event, THIS is what I hear, words that instantly shun any kind of over confidence away, words that make me cautious and focused and instill stability like nothing else, words which inspire me to give my 100 percent and more. This is what makes him the perfect critic, because his motivation drives me to conquer all dreams.
Like any person I have many aspects to my personality, and during the formation and cultivation of these aspects my grandfather has been the perfect piece of the puzzle, the illuminating ray of light that has made everything, good or bad, better.

“I have been on the road not taken and he has made all the difference, for, every moment I inspire I’ve been inspired.”




Look around yourself, you've people who're there for you,NO MATTER WHAT.
They've given you ll their love, security, support and much much more, and I think you owe it to them to reach your maximum potential, to laugh, to love, to be fearless and do things that you really want to do.

To live INFINITELY, because that's what you truly are; INFINITE.

Are you free?

Sometimes, people just go away.
In some cases you can't stop them.
In others you don't want to because you respect free will.

You feel a hole in your environment, which is hard to fill up.
But you try anyway, Kudos to you for that.
Everything will,eventually,be okay.
Things will eventually fall back into place and you will light up again.
You'll have some sunshine again.

Just give it time, some time.
Because you need you time and the others need theirs.

Let time take your pain away.
It will.

Let time help you realise things.
It will.

Let time give you strength.
It will.

Let time help you evolve.
It will.

Give time the power to reconstruct you.
IT WILL.

Everyone who has been in and out of your life has made you who you are, REALISE that.

Respect your choices and decisions.
Respect their choices and decisions.

Forgive and let go.
Hope that they are able to forgive and let go.

Cherish the memories and smile.
Hope that they hold on to the memories and it lights up their days sometimes.

And set them free, set YOURSELF free.
Free from all the expectations and burdens and everything else which stops you from being your true self.

You'll eventually find yourself down the road.
And if they're yours they'll come back to you, eventually, no matter what.

Till then, learn from your mistakes so that you don't make them again.
So that you don't lose a part of yourself again.
So that you can be who you were meant to be.

Let go.

There are times when we hold on to things, so tightly that we turn blind towards all the other things that are passing us by. We limit our potential and spheres of growth by a great deal and never truly realize that.

I'm holding on to chaos, crying out, repeatedly, about what's going wrong that I stop focusing on what's right. Trying to set the wrong things right that I forget to do things that I do right.
Forget to hope, to believe that there's an end to every dark tunnel.
Forget to believe that my choices, decisions will pay me off gracefully.
Forget to work hard enough to empower my dreams.
Forget to smile each day, like I mean it, to get some sunshine.
Forget to FOCUS on what I want to be.

FOCUS,they say is not saying yes to one thing; it's saying no to a hundred others.
It's not HOLDING ON to one thing,It's LETTING GO of all the debris around that one thing.

So, I think I will will LET GO now.

Let go now before I start falling out while saving someone else.
Let go now before I start losing myself while helping ohters find themselves.
Let go now before I stop believing while helping others believe.

Let go now, So that I can hold on later.

Do yourself a favour.

In a very recent beginning of the new year,which I hope would bring peace and light for all of us,I sit alone in my room, soaking in all the realisations that have dawned upon me.

Realisations that have cut me open.
Realisations that I had derailed for months, hoping they would get lost in an unknown sea,but then again whatever has been lost will be found.
Realisations that I had muted, only to feel a little less vulnerable.
Scars that were bandaged but never fully let to heal.
Things which still prick.

Conversations,actions,reactions and feelings I've never fully let go of.
And I'm not very sure if that's going to happen in the IMMEDIATE future.
Some things things take time.
Some things need patience.
Some things need strength.

And then there are some things which need EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT.

The question here arises what will finally help you?
Keeping the scars open? letting some air on them?
Letting them breathe and burn and eventually die down with time?
OR
Letting them be?
Letting them be buried in one corner of your existence?
Dead but still living.
Soothing but still hurting.

What will make the fire die down?

Living for the present totally ignoring the past?
OR
Eventually opening the scars up, letting a little bit of sunshine, a little bit of air, a little bit of the goodness around you?
Giving yourself the time you need to turn over a new leaf, not suppressing anything anymore?
Just going with the flow.
Giving yourself the peace you deserve?

I think the answer is very obvious.
Think about it.